A Few Things You Should Know About Me

I don’t think I’ve done this before, thought, I’ll give it a shot!

Here’s a list of things I am willing to share, so you can understand me better:

  • I am autistic (not officially confirmed). I’m also fairly blunt* and say things I don’t really mean, but this comes across as insenstive. Because of that, I learned there are times where complete honesty is appropiate.
  • Even though I socialize with my peers at school on daily basis (Monday-Friday), I prefer to relax at home as socializing can often be challenging (and draining). I also prefer talking with one person at a time. (Possibly introverted). To be honest, for me elementary school is much easier than high school because learning was more exciting, and you didn’t have to deal with puberty.
  • I don’t like multitasking. AT ALL. I can’t handle sress that well. It’s best to focus one duty before moving to the next. No likey multitasking.
  • I read mostly for enjoyment, this is true, even when I am at school. I also read because I wish to improve at many aspects of life, such as, gaining knowledge to make better decisions. When I read for enjoyment, I mostly choose manga. Which leads to my next point:
  • I am avid fan of magical girl anime/manga, along American superheoine comics, Miss Marvel and Zodiac Starforce. Sailor Moon is one of my favorite magical girl series, the version I enjoy most is the live-action special effects J-drama. I also like Mermaid Melody (it’s sooo cute), Magic Knights Rayearth (amazing development of the main characters), etc. I do like other genres, though. My favorite characters are Ami, Lucia, Rina, Coco, Usagi, Mina, Makoto, Fuu, and Hikaru.
  • I firmly believe that politics shouldn’t come before a friendship/family, well, at least, differences in opinion (ex: best/worst president). This is especaially true of new friendships as politics can be one of the more difficult topics in a convesation. If political disagreements happen, it’s best to handle it maturely. Friendships >>>>>>>>> politics.
  • I used to think family didn’t matter, as I became an adult, however, I came to realize it is indeed very important. I love all my relatives equally.
  • I strongly dislike summer. In fact, I consider it to be my least favorite season of the year mainly because of the heat waves, mosquitoes, and severe weather (ex: strong thunderstorms**). I also dislike being forced to wear short-sleeve shirts because of my dry skin issue/modesty, nor shorts. I can tolerate winter a teensy bit more despite the snow days. I like spring and autumn equally because the temperatures are mild and reasonable. I will go on to say that, as a child, I did like summer because it was relaxing to at home after a long school year. I just don’t anymore due to the reasons I stated above. I’ll say this again, summer’s my least favorite season, end of story.
  • I prefered elementary school over high school because it wasn’t as time-consuming and more mellow?

*definitions from online dictionaries

  1. Blunt Define Blunt at Dictionary
  2. Blunt Definition of Blunt by Merrriam-Webster

**What I meant to say is thunderstorms can be good because rain is beneficial for plants. Rain can also be calming for stress. I, however, dislike the ear-shattering thunder due to the fact I am hearing impaired. Lightning may be a beautiful spectacle, yet it is responsible for power outages, wildfires, etc.

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Why It’s Hard for Me to Make (and Keep) Friendships {in real life & online}

In my post titled [Personal] My Life as an Autistic Female, I have detailed my experiences living with autism from elementary school to now. One of those experiences was branching out and forming circle of friends. Befriending non-autistic/neurotypical peers at school is a tough challenge because I’m blunt, saying what exactly what is on my mind. I am more than willing to make a conscious effort in thinking before I speak. As a young adult, I try my best to take full responsibility for my actions, for example, having to send an apology through FaceBook to those classmates who blocked me. I now realized it was not the best decision, and I will speak to them in person, if possible.

Link here =>[Personal] My Life as an Autistic Female

[Personal] My Life as an Autistic Female

I have autism. No, seriously. I really do.

Gather ’round and listen well.

I’ve got a story to tell. Bear with me, this story is fairly long.

I’m going to come right out of the closet and say this proudly with a loud voice. I HAVE AUTISM!

You may be thinking, “How the heck in the world can a girl/woman have autism?!” “That’s impossible!” “Only boys/men can have autism.” But, sadly, that isn’t the case. Not at all! Girls’ autism can go undiagnosed, misdiagnosed, or both, we’re known as the “Lost Girls”. So, yes, autism is present in both sexes. The thing, however, is that autism more common in the boys/men than in girls/women, a ratio of 4:1 or 5:1. Autism’s a spectrum disorder, think of it as multiple ice cream flavors and toppings.


Now, for the actual story:

It all started back when I was roughly 4-5 years old, I was a little girl starting school for the first time. My memories are bit fuzzy, so sorry about that. I’m not sure when I actually started school. I lied! Or did I really? Ack! This is too confusing!

Moving on . . .

 

Throughout elementary school, I only had a few friends, approximately 3-6, they were mostly all girls, just like me. I considered myself to be the quiet one, an introvert. I’d be keeping things to myself often, never really striking up a lengthy conversation about my interests. I rarely spoke to fellow students when we broke off to do group work in second grade. At that time, I had to work on the basics such as math, language arts, science, and social studies.

I wanted to have lots of friends back then, around 20, at least, to expand my social circle. One downside, however, was that I didn’t know exactly the right words to say, social skills didn’t come to me naturally. I felt completely lonely, this was not okay. I really wanted my classmates, who weren’t my friends, to have a chance and get to know me better, I wanted to fit in, to feel important. I’d try and hide my symptoms of autism, though, I failed. I developed to an obsession  . . . to be perfect, without faults.

 

“Help! I need somebody.”


It was during sixth grade that I may have started “crushing” on boys, possibly earlier, like, fourth or fifth grade. What was this feeling? It was strange.

In my years of early childhood/adoloscence, I’d have a refuge in anime/manga and cartoons, something to keep my imagination flowing. As a result of this, I had created original characters. My characters were people I could easily talk to. I looked up to many existing fictional characters, such as, Sailor Moon and Lucia Nanami. I could relate to Usagi/Serena, the main female protagonist of Sailor Moon. She was a crybaby, though, however, I hadn’t seen the show on TV as a child.

It was eighth grade, that I had met a fellow student. This girl, I had befriended quickly.

This is real, this is me. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be now. Gonna let the light shine on me. Now, I’ve found who I am. There’s no way to hold it in. No more hiding who I want to be. This is me.


Today, I have plenty of friends, people exactly like me. This makes me truly happy. I still have a whole lot of work to do before I interact with the “typical” people.