[Personal] My Life as an Autistic Female

I have autism. No, seriously. I really do.

Gather ’round and listen well. I’ve got a story to tell. A fair warning, this story is long.

I’m going to come right out of the closet and say this proudly with a loud voice. I HAVE AUTISM! YES, I REALLY DO HAVE AUTISM!!

You all may be thinking, “How in the world can a girl/woman have autism?!” “That’s impossible, only boys/men can have autism!” But, sadly, that isn’t the case. Not at all! Girls’ autism can go misdiagnosed, we’re known as the “Lost Girls”. So, yes, autism is present in both sexes. The thing, however, is that autism more common in the boys/men than in girls/women, a ratio of 4:1 or 5:1. Autism’s a spectrum disorder, think of it as multiple ice cream flavors and toppings.

Now, for the actual story:

It all started back when I was roughly 4-5 years old, I was a little girl starting school for the first time. My memories are bit fuzzy, so sorry about that. I’m not sure when I actually started school. I lied! Or did I really? This is too confusing! I’m certain I at least started kindergarten.

Moving on . . .

Throughout elementary school, I only had a few friends, approximately 2-6, they were mostly all girls, just like me. I considered myself to be the shy, quiet one, an introvert. I’d be keeping things to myself often, never really striking up a lengthy conversation about my hobbies & interests. I rarely spoke to fellow students when we broke off to do group work in second grade. At that time, I had to work on the basics such as math, language arts, science, and social studies.

I wanted to have lots of friends back then, around 20, at least, to expand my social circle. One downside, however, was that I didn’t know exactly the right words to say, my social skills didn’t come to me naturally. I felt completely lonely, this was not okay. I really wanted my classmates, who weren’t my friends, to have a chance and get to know me better, I wanted to fit in, to feel important. I’d try and hide my symptoms of autism, though, I failed. I developed to an obsession  . . . to be completely perfect, without faults.

“Help, I need somebody.”

“Help!” by the Beatles. Duh!

It was during sixth grade that I may have started “crushing” on boys, possibly earlier, like, fourth or fifth grade. What was this feeling? It was strange.

In my years of early childhood/adolescence, I’d have a refuge in anime/manga and cartoons, something to keep my imagination flowing. As a result of this, I had created original characters. My characters were people I could easily talk to. I looked up to many existing fictional characters, such as, Sailor Moon and Lucia Nanami as my role models for being optimistic. I could relate to Usagi/Serena, the main female protagonist of Sailor Moon. She was a crybaby, though, however, I hadn’t seen the show on TV as a child.

It was eighth grade, that I had met a fellow student. This girl, I had befriended quickly.

This is real, this is me. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be now. Gonna let the light shine on me. Now, I’ve found who I am. There’s no way to hold it in. No more hiding who I want to be. This is me.

“This is me” by Demetria “Demi” Lovato

Today, I have plenty of friends, people exactly like me. This makes me truly happy. I still have a whole lot of work to do before I interact with the “typical” people.

[Opinion] Why Summer’s My Least Favorite Season

I have something to say. I’m going to be totally honest, I have mixed feelings about summer. I like AND dislike it at the same time! I’m unsure if this is completely normal.

I’ll start with what I like first, then I’ll go over what I dislike about the hot season. I do love that there’s more activities to partake in during the summer such as swimming in a pool. I do appreciate how we have more hours of sunshine. I really don’t enjoy the constant heat waves. The mosquitoes are rather bothersome at this time of year. I HATE being bitten by a mosquito so much! The severe thunderstorms are especially horrible as they cause trees to fall, knocking down power lines.

I don’t want to cause arguments over which season is the best of them all! Every season has something Mother Nature has to offer.

Why I Can’t Decide Between Anime and Cartoons

I’m an anime fan, albeit a casual fan. I’ll admit now I don’t watch anime or western animated series often, yet I love both mediums equally. I don’t think anime is better than western carton series or vice-versa, they each have their strengths and weaknesses. They are BOTH forms of animation! I grew up watching anime and cartoons, as a result, I developed a vivid imagination throughout my early years.

Reviews and Thoughts Announcements!

I am going to start doing reviews and posting my thoughts on anime, manga, books, cartoons, TV shows, and songs I like listening to.

I am choosing an animated series/anime to watch. From there, I will type my thoughts and reactions of the episode. The same method will also be applied novels/manga, although with chapters.

Some Updates!

Hello! I want to make some announcements. I am going to start making some changes to the blog. The first change is that I will tag my posts more often. I’m creating new tags for this to clear up some of my posts, if possible.


So, I’ve gotten quite into voltron since I finally started watching it a bit over a week ago and finished season 7 two days ago. One week left for the final season, Yay!

So, I’ve overheard my classmates talking about this show saying that Lance will have an endgame but who he will end up with is still a mystery. Most might think Keith because it’s the most popular ship, but I don’t think so because Lance haven’t shown any romantic interest in him at all. He does in fact have a crush on Allura but I kinda (High-key) don’t want to see them together because she have mostly been annoyed by him so far and I believe that Lance needs to get over her in order to grow as a character.

It has been heavily hinted towards pidge having secret feelings towards Lance though and I really wish for her to get the guy since they are really close after all and would make each other really happy. Also, it would be boring and cliché if the guy got the ”hot girl” and it would feel more refreshing if he instead grew up and chose the other girl who loved him from the start. It is in fact confirmed that Lance is fond of smart and confident girls and that is pretty much how pidge is.

TL;DR: I would get really pissed and punch my screen if Lance ended up with Allura

I’m deleting my blog


I’m sorry. It’s been an absolute honor being a part of such an amazing and (for the most part) respectful and extraordinary fandom. I’m truly grateful for everything.

I especially want to thank all of my friends, mutuals, and followers. You guys are awesome and I really do appreciate you and all of the memories you’ve given me. Thank you for letting me be a part of the kallura community. Promise me that you’ll keep it alive no matter what happens, and that you’ll never let anyone make you feel inferior because of what you ship. You have just as much a right to be in this fandom as anyone else does.

Thank you for everything. I’m sorry.

An Open Letter to Tumblr about the Adult Content Ban and How it is Hurting Your Users:








Recently, Tumblr was removed from the Apple app store due to an incident involving child pornography. This incident is incredibly unfortunate, but it doesn’t stand alone. Tumblr was also removed from the app store due to the large influx of porn bots and pornographic spam, users claiming to be proud to be pedophiles, blatant Nazism, racists who are not deleted for sending hate and harassing users, and more. I myself reported someone for harassing me, but because I had blocked the person and couldn’t access the messages where they harassed me, they were still able to send me anonymous asks. Your support staff, with back doors to the website (presumably), claimed they could not access the messages, and I was left SOL. Many features on this website do nothing to actually protect your users from harassment, racism, homophobia, transphobia, Nazis, pedophiles, predators, porn bots, and more. 

You claim in your statement to us that you “have been working on these problems for a long time”. This is blatantly untrue. Please do not lie to us and patronize us. We’ve been here. We’ve seen you do nothing over, and over, and over again. 

We complained to you for months and months about the rampant porn bots, and you did nothing except add a report button on mobile which only reported sensitive content or spam at best. You could have addressed this problem with an effective algorithm, but you did not. We complained to you about being harassed and sent hate speech for being LGBT+, and you did nothing. We complained to you about blogs being randomly deleted, and sometimes you’ve restored them, other times you have not. We complained to you that there were people proudly claiming to be “Minor Attracted Persons”, or pedophiles, and you did nothing. We complained to you about people proudly claiming to be white supremacists, and you did nothing. All of these things are “against the community guidelines”, and yet over and over, you have not found effective ways to handle these problems or suppress the feeling of welcome that these users claim to get here. You have had a long time to work on these problems, but you haven’t addressed them. To say you have is untrue. 

 Multiple other social networking websites, such as WordPress, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and others have effectively dealt with rampant pornography, racism, pedophilia, and other problems without causing massive issues for their users who are not misusing the platform. They are continuing to find new, effective ways to deal with these issues without causing problems for their userbase as a whole.  There is no reason that you are unable to do this effectively other than that you wanted to do it quickly. You have once again chosen your stock holders over your users. And we have had enough. 

You have already started to ban “Adult” content with a new algorithm. Here are screenshots of just a fraction of the posts you have flagged as containing adult content:


Your new system of simply tackling everything at once is not working. At all. And each of these screenshots is proof of your utter incompetence. None of these posts contain pornographic acts, “female nipples”, or any community violation of any kind. 

We, the users, have been asking you for months to deal with these problems – particularly, the porn bots and bots that spam. In order to block a bot from a side blog, I have to do it manually, even though they are in my side blog’s feed. This is a huge issue for mobile – only users. They keep cropping up in droves, taking over our posts and tricking google into making it look like a legitimate blog linked to a pornographic website. We have complained to you for months and months now, and your solution to simply “ban all adult content” is ineffective. I agree that children should not be able to access pornography – but this is not how you tackle a porn bot problem. Your system is utterly useless, allows for racists, pedophiles, porn bots, and Nazis to remain untouched. It also harms sex workers and real people who may use this website for some forms of adult content responsibly. Moreover, as seen above, it harms plenty of users who have in no way violated your terms of service.

 If you keep this up, you threaten your website and company as a whole. Many of us are backing up our blogs and planning places to go to. 

You already have a content filter for “sensitive” content (content inappropriate for younger viewers). You could have improved this, instead of attacking your entire user base. It seems to be a very lazy “solution”, if you could call it one at all, and one that harms your entire userbase.

If you are going to keep this filter in place and make Tumblr, a website that has never been known for being family friendly and has never claimed to be, you are going to lose millions of your users. We are already planning our exodus. It isn’t hard to follow. Censor us, and we will go somewhere else. That is not a threat. It is a promise. 


The users of your website. 

@staff @support

They flagged this post immediately and I’ve submitted it for review… this is… quite a week.

If you believe these words, reblog it, please. I want this to be right in their face because I couldn’t email them directly.